Apple or passionfruit? Make your mistake.

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Guan dropped by today and though he didn’t stay for long, it’s really nice reading what he wrote. Sometimes it may not seem that guys write cards that frequently, but through the two years somehow you can tell if that particular guy is a card person haha and yeah both of us pretty much are. (I’m straight just in case you’re wondering I’m gay over him, no please keep those thoughts outta your head.)
He adapted many quotes which meant a lot and reading them does bless one’s soul.
Using the street directory as a metaphor for life is indeed so relevant. We see the big picture of life, as though everything has been planned out on a map. But sometimes when we take a twist or turn, we may encounter crossroads or deadends and we are at a lost of how to carry on. It’s a journey, things happen unexpectedly and even if it seems like it’s a wrong turn, good things will come along that path and that’s how new discoveries are made in this special gift we are given- the gift of life.
Such lessons, reflections are invaluable. No matter how hard one studies for a test, life lessons will never be picked up, if we don’t experience life for itself.
So why all the emotional, reflective posts of late? It’s not because I’m mentally vulnerable and can’t help turning into this emotional wreck every night. As you know, I’m currently nursing this injury I had sustained two weeks ago and thus I’m having all the free time in the world to sit back and really think about life a little bit more and recently, much to my surprise the number of readers of my little online refuge has gone up a fair bit haha.
To be honest I really do not know who these people are but whoever you guys really are, I do hope after reading, you can get inspired and pick yourselves up if you do find yourselves in valley lows or if you’re just the average casual page glancer who also has too much free time. Why not sit back and think more of what you want to get out from your life in the near future or so, what new stories do you want to pen down for yourself? In anycase it’s great knowing there are people out there who enjoy reading stuff here. 🙂
For today, it’s more about undercovering one’s passion, that inner desire in you that burns so strongly you just have to learn more and more about as days pass. What drives you? That insatiable hunger you have for something that never ceases to end. If you haven’t quite figured, then you’re pretty much stuck in this rut with me.
I’ve told people, “I have passion for the outdoors, I have passion for the media.” But have I shown it? Maybe a teeny weeny bit for the outdoors part, but other than that, academically, no. I can’t find any passion in the books. I always remember the talks I had with odac.
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Yeah this bunch of people, okay maybe not every single one of them. But whenever the opportunity came and you just start asking each other what they truly love doing. Some love to teach kids so much, they volunteered to give free tuition, another loved the military he was so sure he’ll sign on haha and always trying to pull me in (but nah I’ll never sell my soul to the armed forces), another good pal found joy after hearing a doctor share about serving others and he has done us proud by hoping to pursue medicine. We too had a couple of dudes who really loved numbers, math and things financial and there is also this girl who love animals so much that she always dreamed of being a vet and even though she ran into some difficulties, still joined paws to help those little critters.
So yes, I was pretty much surrounded by people who know their passions yet everytime such talks left hanging on my end. Everytime the question was thrown back at me, “so Darren, what’s yours?” I had nothing much to say.
To face the truth, I have not found what I can honestly and sincerely say I will love doing for life.
Since young, life in generally was along the path called “mainstream”. I conformed to things around me, did what seemed to be the right thing, never really stepped out of my comfort zone to try something new. (okay partially cause I was bullied for a while so I tried keeping to myself at times, but I’ll save that story for the future if we do run into that topic again.)
But yeah, I didn’t go for any particular classes, special lessons or stuff like that to find out whether I truly had a knack or liking for something. While some found their true love for a particular sport or musical instrument or a form of art, I was just being the kid most kids grow up to be-dumb, dull and destined average adults, who go on to lead mainstream lives. (Mum and dad, if you were to read this, don’t kill me. I’m not saying you guys didn’t give me the chance to explore, I’m saying how foolish I was to not ask you guys for the chance to let me explore.)
I was into soccer as a kid, always loved playing the game, but never took it further than mere leisure kicking around at the park near my house in those younger years.
Then as I grew up, singing and music caught up with me. I started making videos of covers, but was always shy to sing in front of people.
Looking back, I wondered why, why I didn’t take these interests to the next level. To find out more about them and see where I could go from there.
I was too afraid, too afraid to make a mistake. My parents were afraid, afraid of making a mistake.
Put those together and we are a bunch of people fearing to make mistakes. But without ever risking to make a mistake, how will we ever know it is a mistake, how will we learn from the mistake to not make future mistakes. If we do not give ourselves a chance, just one shot at things, life will forever be on it’s auto repeat as to how our ancestors have led their lives, cause we are so scared to make the mistake we just follow and lead lives similar to theirs.
We need mistakes in our lives, that’s the truth it is through mistakes we realise how important particular matters, people or issues mean to us. Without it, life will be boring and by not making mistakes we cannot find adventure.
It’s time to cut out following the mainstream. Being a professional- a doctor, lawyer, accountant, engineer. I ain’t saying they are not good, but even though some people find their passion in those, that’s not me. As much security as those stuff bring and with the knowing that things won’t go wrong choosing those paths, in the long run things will work out. But life will be lacking something, that something starting with a P and that’s passion. Without it, things will not pick up once it hits a plateau.
But then again, how to find the passion?
We can only find out by following one’s gut. It may be a mistake, but we will sort it out then. However, it’ll definitely be better than not daring to suffer a mistake wouldn’t it? For who knows, if it was the right roll of the dice, it’s just the beginning of something great.

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